Vietnam Reflections
January, 2024
A long-planned and serially postponed family non-Christmas in this fascinating yet enigmatic country was bound to arouse interest in what lies beneath the beaches, hills, pagodas and tourist bling. Vietnamese people give little away, so we took the initiative to peer a little deeper – even as far as a potted history lesson for the many born after the last war there ended.
Mourning
April, 2019
900 years of wars and revolutions – France submitted to four years of German occupation, in part to save this most magnificent of magnificent edifices.
I was not 50 metres away, having a coffee at one of my favourite places – partly because of its unrivalled view of Notre Dame, with its Spring Cherry Blossoms in the foreground. I had just obliged an American couple with a photo featuring Our Lady watching patiently there behind them – reassuring all that she would forever be there.
Several times a week I pass through that pretty garden between the flying buttresses and the ever-poetic Seine. One of the most beautiful places on Earth,
I never fail to remark: how lucky I am to be able to walk so close to History: what could those stones tell if they could speak. Stones carved painstakingly by generations of master craftsmen, who gave their whole lives to creating this Cathedral that would warm the hearts of unbelievers a millennium later. How many generations of mere buildings came and went, while she stood – enduring, surmounting everything.
Except renovations. I was there, watching helplessly. First the plume of sickly-yellow smoke and the Police, then the Pompiers. At first I wondered why they seemed to have taken so long, but they would have come in from the other side, where I couldn’t see them. Billows of bright sulphur smoke announced chemicals and the real danger of an explosion. The Cathedral was in the process of a 20-year restoration programme, hence, I suppose (we’ll find out in due course), the restoration products stored, inexplicably, inside the edifice.
Then I turned to leave – I was due at a gathering for the Grand Débat and the President’s address. I wondered how much I could possibly concentrate. Not much, it happened. The President postponed his address, and those of us at the gathering tried, between horrifying images of the spire collapsing onto – how much history? We tried, resolutely, to talk about the future of Europe, while we watched its heart disintegrate.
Countless wars and an historically violent revolution couldn’t bring her down. It took a renovation to do that.
Europe on $5 a Day
Six plus one months in a Post-office van
I turned to the Captain and asked how many passengers there were on the boat. He responded that there were seven boats on the ship.
Several police arrived very quickly in their smart uniforms with peaked pill-box caps. They seemed quite uninterested in what had happened, but set about redirecting traffic and sweeping away the broken glass and other debris. Then they got in their van and drove away.
Now it turns out that fetching water from a well is not straight-forward. You drop the bucket and guess what?
I frowned again and from below the counter he produced a plastic mould of a purple and white cartoon cow’s head, holding a bright yellow horn in his thumb and forefinger…
I laughed, assuming it a joke (and envisaged my parents – and Ophelia’s father – on my return to Sydney with three camels and no daughter). As I turned to walk on, insistently he grabbed my shoulder and increased the offer to four camels.
But steins full of beer were cheaper than empty ones from the souvenir shop. And anyway, we had a cunning plan.
It seemed that all essential workers were on strike. Buildings were burning down for want of firemen and each morning we had to listen to the radio to find out when our area would be blacked out for want of electricity.
See Naples and Die
Ideally, not as a direct consequence.
It turns out that vast underground caverns are also useful for disposal of garbage and anything, or -one, else you might want to get rid of; they can also make great water reservoirs and bomb shelters, though not all at the same time.
More quaint than comfortable, staying in a genuine pixie cottage is something you should probably do at least once in your life.
But then you learn about continuous, intensive monitoring of what is going on beneath your moulded plastic seat and about the detailed evacuation to give Neapolitans 72 hours’ notice to get out or die.
Why Not go Camping
Its funny how, once you’ve learned a lesson the hard way, you assume everyone else has also learned the same lesson.
So it was with disbelief that I listened to the plans of two very intelligent friends to go camping…
Autobiography of an Easter Bunny
Ophelia Cowell, six years.
It all began when I had a baby in winter.
We don’t even have enough Easter eggs to go around…..
A French adventure in the Land of Oz
He thought he’d prepared for everything…
Every French person I’ve spoken to who has not been to Oz dreams of doing so.
Yet the most lethal aspect of Australian fauna, tended to be overlookedYet the most lethal aspect of Australian fauna, tended to be overlooked…
About 15cm long, … that was not a baby anything!
“Spiders”, he thought.
it represented his first meal ever without bread and cheese, although we did manage a bottle of rip-your-arms-off Australian chardonnay to wash it down.
He was first to spy the bats.
Beach Saturdays – Never on a Sunday
Beach Saturday was the high point of the week for all of us – including, I suspect, my father, if only for the relative peace it gave him.
… complete with WWII bunkers for spotting Japanese submarines and gun turrets for shooting at them.
… it was one of the few places you could light a fire in the sand.
Motoring holidays – What could go wrong?
Fun for all the family!
Perhaps even more surprising is that this sort of thing seems to happen quite a lot…..
Faux pas – faut un sens d’humour
An amusing wet afternoon pastime is for each of a group to relate one very embarrassing anecdote about themselves. Here are some entries...
This was a problem that would get worse as time passed, so with only the newspaper, I mounted the stairs and knocked at the door of Room 11…
I inserted the disc, but just as it disappeared from view, I noticed the little drawer just beneath the slot. Ooops.
Ophelia had seen exactly what happened and we looked at each other, both understanding that the best strategy was to feign ignorance.
Ophelia had Arrived. Torches were sent for…
Must do better
March 2018
The deputy head duly noted: Problem is Mother.
…free pizza is free pizza, after all.
Perusing her report card for a recent term: 60 for English, 45 for maths, etc. 4 for art.
La Préfecture 171207 – Blague sur les britanniques?
December 2017
Sûre d’être enfin sur la bonne voie, je montais au premier étage, ou, rappelant Alice au Pays de Merveilles, je trouvais deux couloirs derrière deux portes, les deux signalantes Interdit au Publique.
La queue était d’environ dix minutes pour avoir un ticket d’attente d’entretien. Et au bout de dix minutes, je me suis trouvée en face d’un monsieur qui m’a informée que ce n’est pas par ici mon entretien, mais à la porte 8, rez-de-chaussée dans la cour.
Solutions logiciels – famille heureuse et supplements
July, 2015
Cette version apporte des accessoires bien inattendus, par exemple un grave changement d’apparence, notamment les couleurs vives d’autrefois sont devenues toutes noir, donnant un aspect presque lugubre. De plus, on constate les problèmes de compatibilité avec Repas Familiale, Conversation Agréable, et un blocage, parfois prolongé, de Salle de Bains.
Par contre, au lieu des messages Erreur : Commande non valide et Erreur utilisateur, Adolescent vM me réponde par un simple écran vide sans autre explication.
Can I Walk You Home? – and why its important to speak up!
January, 2007
The poor man was visibly shaken by what he saw, but to his credit, stood his ground.
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A third table was an odd group, in what seemed like fancy dress – sort of overcooked 1920s garb with lots of sequins, fringes and feathers. One of the men wore a Gagney-style hat.
“But Mum, did it have to be seven years? Wouldn’t two or three have done?”
The Un-drunk glass of water
July 2005
I knew something was wrong the minute I closed the front door behind me..
Now I had two possible courses of action, but I decided that any attempt at damage control was fraught.
Hillary – A celebrated mountaineer and an overgrown lawn
July, 2001
For the most part, this shortcoming was of little importance to Ophelia and Ben, who had never had the opportunity to develop expectations of household staff.
As the tanks were lining up in Merdeka Square and Ophelia was receiving hourly bulletins from the Australian Embassy, Ben and I set off on opposing trajectories.
Ophelia tried to educate him on the meaning of once a week, but without success.
Vanderbilt & Villeuneuve Set the Standard for Intercontinental Travel
August, 2000
It had to be a police-woman. Everybody turned to stare. “… really they’ll be a lot less trouble than small children.”
The man in the seat in front did a double-take when he saw Villeneuve watching the film over his shoulder, and Vanderbilt at one point decided it was time he checked that everybody had stowed their baggage correctly under the seat in front of them.
Clinging to the Under-carriage
First class travel made difficult
April, 1998
Michael declared it “definitely worth a lunch!”. With Lunch now on the table before us, he urged me on: “Now there’s got to be a film script in there… You know, Ingrid Bergman…”
The-Byron-Seven
The truth behind the Legend: A Good Idea (at the time) and a 50 kilogram bouncer
January, 1994
One can sympathise with their reasoning, and doubtless there were still some stragglers from the previous day’s event who hadn’t yet bothered – or were unable – to locate their sarongs and sandals.
… the Seven waved back, sharing the general amity and carefree mood of the moment.
Home Gardening
Its rewards and hazards
about November, 1990
I’m not much of a gardener, but after a week or so, it became apparent that they were losing leaves at the bottom. Nothing much unusual about that: plants often shed their old leaves to generate new ones. What was odd was there was no sign of the shed leaves, and in fact, the leaves seemed not to have fallen off, but to have been torn off.
… the video-recorder, which had never worked properly since it been left out in the rain … now would be replaced by the insurance.
The senior officer rallied his forces to regain control of the situation.
The Letter from Europe
Dave Broadly, retired bank clerk, sums up Europe
March, 1977
Vienna was a great experience but Venice is far from the glamorous place it is painted to be (no paint anywhere in Europe)
Most of the buildings here are 200 to 900-odd years old. And they look like it.
A Paris à la Grèc
An English Gentleman and a study in economy travel
January, 1977
Following the second oil shock, the City of Light had turned most of them off at midnight, and in the gloom, neither rue Massé, nor any hotel could clearly be seen – certainly no hotel with lights on.
Ophelia was, and still is, a rational, calm and cheerful individual: she sat down on the curb and sobbed quietly.
To the Other Side of the Bridge
May, 1961
Family bliss in a row-boat.
Anyone looking at it for the first time would immediately notice two other features. The first were prominent “No Fishing on Bridge!” signs, painted in large red letters on plywood and placed at short intervals along the length of the bridge. The second feature was the hundreds of people dangling fishing lines from it.
Chris, being a bright lad and aspiring sailor himself, suggested he mount the pylon and give us a shove. That should do it, and indeed it did; but not entirely as expected.
